Remembering Nan

Yesterday, my family held a memorial for my grandma, Marjorl Tilsch, whom Stephen and I called "Nan." I wrote a little biography for her memorial program, which I'm pasting in below.

 

Some of Marjorl Lee Tilsch’s clearest memories were from growing up on a farm. She was born on June 28, 1923 in Clay Center, Kansas, the daughter of Ernest and Olga Hildenbrand, and elder sister to Richard, Daryl and Gaill. 

As a young girl, Marj rode a big white horse to a one-room school house. After the long school day, her transportation was so eager for dinner that he’d gallop home at a break-neck pace, forcing his young rider to duck as she barely cleared the barn door.

When the World’s Fair was held in Chicago in 1933, the Hildenbrands drove with caged chickens strapped to the running boards, for dinner.

Marj attended Clay Center High School and lived through the Great Depression, the Dust Bowl and swarms of locusts that could blot out the noon sun. In the late 1930s, the family sold their farm and moved to Baltimore, Maryland.

Perhaps the adventures and hardships of her early years shaped Marj into a woman who was reserved yet abundantly industrious, even-tempered yet extravagantly generous with her time, belongings and love.

In Baltimore, the Hildenbrands began attending Trinity Lutheran Church, where Marjorl met and fell in love with a young Marine named John Tilsch, who was soon deployed to the Pacific. Though wounded in battle, John was granted temporary leave from Bethesda Medical Center, and the couple was married on Christmas Eve, 1944.

In 1951, the Tilsches moved to Northbrook, Illinois, where they built a house with the help of Marj’s father. While John worked as a public relations specialist for Santa Fe Railway, Marj kept busy as a fastidious and fashionably-dressed homemaker, raising their three sons, Greg, Brad and Doug. She was also active outside the home, serving on PTA, volunteering at the Northbrook Historical Society, hosting Cub Scout meetings and teaching Sunday school.

Despite being far from the farm, and her youthful appearance, Marj’s industrious upbringing shined through.

“In my mind, my mom was like a strong pioneer woman folk hero: Cooking delicious meals and raising three boys, she knew how to ride horses, and she even killed a rattlesnake in her garage in Green Valley when she was 84 years old,” Doug said.

She loved to garden, and her window sills flourished with African violets and citrus plants started from saved seeds. She also enjoyed cooking meals for family and friends.  Sit-down dinners were a part of her farm upbringing that carried over into their lives, her sons said. She cooked up memories with delicious fried chicken dinners, Saturday night spaghetti drenched in sauce that had simmered all day, and German potato salad.

“She never just threw something together,” Brad said. “Family meals were always special.”

Family picnics on the Des Plaines River were also a treat.

“What stands out is that it was so elaborate,” Greg recalled. “Our poor dad would have boxes and bags to carry out. We’d have so much food.”

While home cooked meals with a “German-Swedish-Heartland” flavor were part of Marj’s daily routine, holiday meals were even more bountiful. The annual Christmas Eve smorgasbord was a particular treat, as it was both her wedding anniversary and a holiday.

“She always served pickled herring and lutfisk, limpa and lingonberries, potato sausage and other Swedish foods. It was a tradition, and she put so much work into it,” Brad remembered. “But she never seemed to complain about it.”

Those holiday meals continued and expanded to include a “kid table,” as grandchildren Emily, John and Christopher came along.

Emily remembers her “Nan,” as happy in her constant hard work.

“Nan was in her element the entire dinner, and Opa would be scolding her for not sitting down, but she would just smile and continue serving everyone,” Emily said.

Her sons also have fond memories of their family vacations. Train rides to the East  or West gave them a taste for adventure.

“I remember I was too young to go on the hike down into Grand Canyon with Dad, Brad and Greg. So I stayed back with Mom, and we had a good time without those guys. Mom bought me candy and toys and did fun tourist stuff together,” Doug said.

After their sons grew up and John retired, the couple continued to lead full lives characterized by adventurous travels – including trips to far-flung destinations like Cuba, Hong Kong, Turkey and Sweden - and by faithful service. In 1992, they moved to Green Valley, Arizona, where they joined the Green Valley Hiking Club, attended Lutheran Church of the Risen Savior and volunteered at the local food bank.

After John passed away in 2003, Marj continued to serve.

 “She was very faithful in picking up elderly ladies to bring them to church,” said friend Mary Ann Levi, “She was such a selfless lady, so very kind and compassionate!”

In addition to her outreach activities, Marjorl’s friends praised her inward joy that stemmed from her personal walk with God.

“She had this infectious smile; always so positive and upbeat, in spite of much pain in her hip and leg which she endured constantly,” Mary Ann said.

“It was very meaningful that she would, often, let me know  she was praying for me and she was glad the Lord called me to serve here.” said Deaconess Jeri Morrison.

Declining health and memory required Marj to trade her independent lifestyle and tidy desert home for an assisted living facility, but to the end, she continued her habit of offering help to other residents.

On July 26, 2012, Marjorl passed from this life to be greeted by the smile of her Lord and Savior, whom she loved and served so well.